back on the grid

I have been neglecting my blog. But I have been busily tending to life 🙂 I moved! I love my new place, feels more permanent. No more of that temporary transient feeling. I’ve got a real place to lay my head down, a real place to sit. I can write in the shadows listening to my favorite online radio station cause, WOOT! I have internet here included in my rent. Got cable TV too, tho I don’t watch TV. I’ve got a candle on the desk, it smells amazing and the light hops around on the walls. Peaceful and serene. I’m home alone most of the time. Which I can deal with.

Any of you who have been reading my blog probably know that I fell off the wagon so to speak a few weeks ago. It was bad, I had no choice but to go back on medication. So while adjusting to the new meds I checked out for a while. They made me really tired for the first week but man… Soo worth it, I feel like I am getting my life back. It was horrible, I was desperate and on the edge of a nervous breakdown every day and the ruminating thoughts of suicide came back and haunted my mind. I told my worker immediately and Connections was soooooo quick to respond to my situation and my needs. If it wasn’t for Connections, Nancy and Mike this blip of life would have likely turned very bad.

Instead I am stabilizing, I have adjusted to my meds. I’m learning new techniques to cope every day and I am make’n every effort to apply myself. I am back on the train seeking employment and I may have an art commission come’n up. Hopefully full recovery and big things for the future. And lastly, no more vegetarian. Back on the meat and I think really its better that way. I didn’t have the drive to really sit down and meal plan as a vegetarian and make sure I was getting my full protein intake ect. and I live a very active lifestyle. I can tell you, its been two weeks now and adding meat back into my diet has made a big difference in my energy levels. Sad to see the veggie in me go but in the name of balance I think it was for the better.

please check back and or follow my blog, I will posting more frequently again as life goes on for me and I am more driven than ever to recover. Recovery is possible.

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