In the name of Progress!

In the name of Progress; Setting goals and SMASHING them!

hulk smash

The last 3 Weeks have been a serious trial for me and my life as I knew it. I had a reliable, iron clad routine. Connections every day. I have been attending Connections Halifax religiously for just over a year now, never missing a beat. From day one, I sat down and hashed out goals with my worker. At first they were simple goals; wake up every morning, shower and take care of myself. Go to Connections, focus on my recovery. Take my medication every day, stay engaged. I sat with a recreational therapist and learned how to enjoy life again. Learned how to identify the things I like to do, the things I wanna do. Focus less on my inabilities and more on my abilities. Later I focused on my Art. And I was successfully producing/selling. All that has taken a back seat tho. Life temporarily went on pause.

Three weeks ago, I got banned from Connections. There is pretty much only two reasons you get banned from Connections. One being extremely disruptive & violent behavior. The other, to control infestations. IE; Bugs… That’s right, Bugs gets you banned. The harder the infestation is to control the longer your ban 😦 And the shitty end of the stick, it is really not my fault. I am banned because I live with roommates who are in denial and embrace avoidance and contend with mental health issues they choose not to properly manage.

At first, I was devastated. I battled internally with telling my worker. But then I thought about all the other people that utilize Connections, my friends and the value of the relationship I have built with my worker. So I went in, I told them what was up. I was banned the same day 😦

Being banned tho, has exacted change. I don’t consider being banned a “positive thing” by any means. It was rough the first week. I was uprooted, my routine was destroyed. Of all the things I’ve experienced emotionally over the past year, this ranks high on the list of near overwhelming. This time, instead of going into shutdown and wait it out mode, I went into action mode. There was a time in life when I took control of the things that were within my control and let the universe handle it’s end of the deal regarding the things I can’t control.

This is a test of my metal, and my metal is strong. In the past 3 Weeks I have been able to exact control over many aspects of my life that normally I would just choose to be passenger to. The moment I reported my situation to my Land Lord he took quick and decisive action. Scheduled spray for the property within 24 Hrs. He asked me to oversee the preparation and that I did. I was able to negotiate new terms with my landlord to deal with my roommates hoarding issues. Braemar Pest Control was able to get in and spray with maximum effectiveness.

Shortly after the situation was contained (as well as it can be) I decided it is time to move on. Move out on my own again. Where I don’t need to be subject to the external stresses of living with a person that is only a negative impact on my mood and environment. I hopped online and literally like a beacon of light the first place that turned up in my search was a quaint little bachelor just under the bridge in Dartmouth. Close to many amenities I already utilize. The Land Lord and I just clicked, plus the property operates under a government grant to house people that make under 30,000 a Year. Which made me a perfect candidate. In less than 48 Hrs I found myself in a lease for a beautiful new property at the epicenter of my world right now. I can get my situation under control now, get back to Connections. Get back to the gym, which will be right across the street. Its closer to work, and oh yeah by the way. I work now. Another huge goal I recently crushed. I work for the QEII Health Sciences Center in Halifax and I LOVE my job.

I think by mid September things will be back to normal swing. I will have my art back on track, I’ll be out on my bikes exploring my new neighborhood. My new place has a community garden where I can work out my green thumb. I’ll be able to really focus on setting more goals and smashing them down.

New Years Resolution; Back to work full time, or part time while successfully supporting myself on my art. First things First; Get this pest thing under control and move without taking them with me. I just wanna be free of this BS.

And I will be. I am taking control.

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