2017 is here. The writers block is real. I really miss visiting my blog, penning my thoughts down in the digital. And; for a while now I have been fighting a dark force that is all to familiar; Complacency. Satisfaction. It grinds me down and halts completely my motivation engine. All under the veil of accepting that where I am in life is a good place to stop… Occasionally I have to remind myself that there is never a good place to stop. Never a good place to stand still for too long.
Now is a good time for that reminder. My life is in a good place yes. I have a lot of amazing things going for me: First & foremost, I have an amazing partner in my life right now. She is beautiful, thoughtful, patient & motivated. Secondly, I live Off Grid. Off Grid living is not easy but it does afford me a kind of financial versatility. It allows me to move forward on larger financial goals that would have taken me years to secure. Third, I love my job and my employer is amazing. The list goes on and on.
Now, as most of you know. I take medications. These meds are very sedating. I find it soo hard to get motivated, to drag my ass out of bed in the morning. I feel like a little chemical assistance is still necessary; Just not as much. I take the max dosage on all my meds and I’ve decided it is time to dial back.
Please note that even though I have decided that my dosages need to be changed I did not change them without a doctors supervision.
My Doc & I decided together; The time is right to start backing things off. I’m about a month into the change and the results have been great so far. There were some rough patches. Headaches, nausea mostly… The thing is; I was sleeping wayyy too much and just experiencing zero motivation when it came to doing the things I love. All I could really do is struggle, day in and out. I love to ride my bike, I love to hike. I love to be active. But for months I’ve felt motionless. And when I do get out it takes a heroic measure of will power to get up & in motion…
Today, I am out of the house. I bought a chromebook & I’m now sitting in a public place, sipping tea. I’m seeing the world go round, listening to the sounds of life. I am awake & present.
Time to start rolling forward again, scratching more life goals off the list.