Aries; LIFE – STAR COLLISION!

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 25)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource; Metro | May 6 / 2015 | IT’S ALL IN THE STARS by Sally Brompton

Meet up with friends and do things together today. And don’t limit yourself to social activities. Make the world a better place

So, yesterday I cheated and read my horoscope before the very end of the day. The result… A most canny life – star collision. I was already planning to go on an outing with Connections Halifax to the All Nations Church for a music jam. And jam I did with a group of people I consider to be great friends. I got to sing, smile, laugh and I felt like it was a little more than just hanging out with friends. I met new people and we learned to play new instruments and new songs. I figured this experience was in the stars and maybe Sally nailed it?

That was just the beginning…

At around 8 Pm I started to wander home, I zig zagged and explored the North end of Halifax and at a certain point I found myself standing in an empty intersection. I felt a presence familiar to me in life, I have written about it before. I call it the “Chi” … 

I heard the rattle of accessories and the light thumping of weighted feet moving across the pavement. Turning around I lay eyes on life long friend Deacon Day. He’s carrying a bass guitar and on his way to a show at the Company House, a local venue I’ve never laid eyes on.

Deacon and I walked together to the bar and upon arrival, sitting on the sidewalking is Jont Whittington a facilitator from The Spot and career singer, songwriter. Also a man I consider to be a friend.

And at this point I began to recount the reading from earlier in the day. 

Meeting Deacon & Jont lifted my spirit. Deacon was able to get me in the door as a guest and while I was sitting, thinking about how this was all coming together… Another friend of mine, Mike Nahirnak (also member of the band Zulkamoon) stepped in the door. Then followed Averil, Deacon’s wife and long time friend of mine. (Also saviour, thanks to Deacon and Averil I was set on the path to recovery. It was tough love but necessary and I will always be thankful).

The rest of the evening was exactly as Sally had written. Jont and the band proceeded to make the world a better place. Jont carries soo much energy and charisma! The Company House came alive and in that moment I was smiling like a fool marveling in how happy I was to be among friends. Experiencing a better place. 

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Aries; 1. no stress… 2. progress

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 20)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource; Metro | May 1st – 3rd / 2015 | IT’S ALL IN THE STARS by Sally Brompton

Mercury’s change of sign today urges a change in attitude on your part. Try taking a step back from what you have been stressing about over the past few weeks.

Attitude. I’ve been seeing this meme on the internet “The only true disability is a bad attitude” usually coupled with some loving photograph of a cute kid with a disability or a smiling adult mustering all the positive attitude he can.

I’m not gonna bitch about it though, I already did that lol. My point, I have a disability and sometimes (like the past few weeks) I feel like shit. I’m trying to take a step back from it, and I’m doing ok. But FUCK YOU and your positive attitude pictures, whoever makes that shit. What is getting me through this? Experience, training, & a massive tool box of coping skills. And knowing that whatever is going on is right now, it’s beyond my control. I do what is within my control and cope, make it work. And sometimes I get a bad attitude about it. Good thing I have an actual diagnosis and not some bullshit lovey dovey bad attitude stomping pics from Dr. Meme. Jesus.

Source; The Coast | Vol. 22 No. 48 April 30 – May 6, 2015 | Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny

Chris Moneymaker was employed as an accountant in Tennessee. On a whim, he paid $39 to enter an online poker tournament. Although he knew a lot about the game, he had never competed professionally. Nevertheless, he won the tournament. As his award, he received no money, but rather an invitation to participate in the annual World Series of Poker in Las Vegas. Can you guess the storybook ending? The rookie triumphed over 838 pros, taking home $2.5 million. I don’t foresee anything quite as spectacular for you, Aries, but there may be similar elements in your saga. For example, a modest investment on your part could make you eligible for a chance to earn much more. Here’s another possible plot twist: You could generate luck for yourself by ramping up a skill that has until now been a hobby.”

Hah, its good to know that Rob Brezsny doesn’t foresee anything “quite as spectacular” for me in the future. But I can kinda relate to the story here. I’ve been holding off for a very long time on engaging a particular art collective. Membership requires a small contribution and in return they provide a wide array of resources to emerging artists. This collective is relocating. Their new residence will be much closer to my home and I’m bowing out of participation at The Spot, this seems like the next step. An opportunity to generate luck for myself and ramp up a skill (my art production) that has mostly been a hobby.

Aries; getting better & EVEN BETTER!

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 18)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource; Metro | April, 29 / 2015 | IT’S ALL IN THE STARS by Sally Brompton

Opportunities to better yourself won’t be hard to find over the next few days, so stay alert and be ready to act when you get the chance. Nothing is impossible if you want it enough.

Opportunity is really what has brought me to the place I am today. I have a pretty good sense (from experience) when its a good time to pull the trigger on something. And opportunity is really the name of the game in this city. It is much smaller than Toronto, more people hunting for that perfect moment.

Today I decided to take another swing at generating opportunity by hitting up the staff at Connections with my age old dual role spiel. I don’t think its fair to put a person managing their recovery in a proverbial cage and say “you’ve made it this far and if you want to advance farther, we need you to discharge yourself from the Clubhouse and all your supports. Disconnect yourself from your community. Or go somewhere else. And here is where the “nothing is impossible” bit fits. If I want it enough and I rattle enough cages. Just maybe…

Aries; Dual Roles, a healthy part of recovery?

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 11)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource; Metro | April, 13 / 2015 | IT’S ALL IN THE STARS by Sally Brompton

Your passion for an issue or cause of some kind will inspire you to give of your best today. You certainly won’t give ground to those you disagree with so strongly

There are a lot of issues I feel passionate about in life. I always try my best to express that passion in a mild but assertive way. Sometimes though there is that one issue, your passion for it grows day by day.

On the outside of Recovery looking in there is a 10 Ft. wall of Healthcare policy toped by a razorwire of tradition mixed with opinions both good & bad.

The issue growing my passion and lighting small fires in the mental health community is that of Dual Roles. The Question, Can a person in recovery be part of the solution? This is a very gray area of discussion, most professionals say straight up No. A small sect say maybe or yes. But there is that wall of policy that separates us as a community. Patient & Patient Care. And my passion tells me that to separate the two in such a black and white way is not progress or integration.

I’ll give you an example. I participate in an Arts program that supports youth at risk. This program has an age limitation for participants. I have approached the age limit and in turn I’ve asked if it would be possible to fill a voluntary role in the program. This is where things get dicey. I am still “in recovery” and in the eyes of policy makers I am a patient. It would be very gray area’ish to allow me access to people at risk in a care role or allow me access to potentially confidential information via post program discussions ect. (Note; As a participant I am closely associated with many who attend The Spot and free to engage them as a peer. I can listen to their problems and offer my support as a peer. There is not much that goes on around me in my community that I’m not aware of.)

As a patient, I am technically standing behind a do not cross line in the sand that has been drawn there for decades. Don’t get me wrong, policy can be a good thing. But policy that separates those in recovery that want to give back and participate in their community needs to be questioned. It needs to examined, we need to ask how much integration is too much? Is there a sliding scale or is it finite? And how do you determine who is too disabled or not disabled enough? What about those employed in the Mental Health industry that have their own diagnosis? I’m not deaf or blind, I know that some of the people charged with assisting me in my recovery are sometimes recovery stories themselves.

If I wanted to volunteer in an official capacity at any Capital Health program, or programs sponsored by Capital Health (Nova Scotia’s Health Care entity) I would have to discharge myself from the very structure that supports my recovery. I would have to leave Connections Halifax for 1 Yr minimum to apply for Volunteer Services at Capital Health Programs.

That… Is not integration, that is not progress, these are not healthy recovery practices and they should be challenged. The Spot program played an integral role in my recovery, it has motivated me to take my Art seriously and realize that in soo many ways Art & Recovery collide. Everywhere in our community it explodes. Its on the walls, its on the desks, in bus stops, organized community events showcase the talent of this city and, all people who identify as having a mental health issue or not are celebrated in professional galleries for everyone to see. Our worlds collide at every turn, it is not ok or realistic to keep up that 10 Ft. wall topped with razor wire. And I’m not asking for it to be torn down overnight, but maybe drop it to waist height? So I can see over it. So I can see the opportunities for me to give back to the programs & community where I want.

Don’t ask me to abandon the community I’ve grown soo close to. Don’t make me abandon my supports so I can feel Human again and not like a case file to be observed & treated. Give me autonomy to choose where and when I give back. Cause right now, Capital Health… You’re saying to me…

Anywhere but here.

doodle of the day – Misfit Treasury

Thursday night @ The Spot!

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Above; I title this “Misfit Treasury” just a casual doodle again over some casual conversation. A lot of my inspiration these days is really just random thought. I am thinking about hitting the library and checking out some books on anatomy. Study proportion, form, motion. I also have a huge love affair with Graphic Novels and whenever I pick one up an thumb through the pages my mind flurries with awe and envy over the larger than life creations.

Art; doodle of the day

Tuesday night @ The Spot

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Above; 4Hb Pencil, Microperm 0.3 MM Marker, Tombo Watercolor Markers w/blender, DeSerres Watercolor Markers 0.4 MM, photo edited using Android (color correction) work surface is Canson Watercolor paper 10″ H x 12″ W.

This was a quick doodle while engaging in some friendly conversation at The Spot. Doodling just for the sake of stretching my muscles, brushing the dust off. I really like to draw straight from my imagination. Draw what I see in my sleep or what wanders through my mind in a daydream. I’ve been thinking of trying to storyboard some of my dreams in a sorta comic book fashion. My medications give me great dreams, mostly because I actually sleep. Its amazing the difference real sleep makes. Before my medications I never remembered my dreams, unless they were traumatizing nightmares. Who wants to remember that? Maybe somebody, not I.

Enjoy!

Art; Self Made @ the Spot

Question of the evening?

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Above; I title this “Self Made” and it is just a doodle. I just really wanted to get a feel for some of the new tools in my arsenal. Mediums used here are black M Fabercastle india ink pen, Tombo watercolor brush marker & DeSerres watercolor fine tip marker with a little blue color pencil. All laid down on Moleskin watercolor paper.

Every evening at the Spot the group is asked a question ie; What did you do on the weekend? Ya know, icebreakers. This evening we were asked if we could be someone famous past or present who would you be?

There was a wide array of answers, most popular; Jesus, David Bowie or Jesus Bowie if thats possible lol. I answered, SELF MADE. I’ll be me, and roll this pony into prolific status. If not famous. Someday lol. After I’m dead maybe and some advanced alien race of explorers will find desolate planet earth (the way we’re going) and this hard drive laying in the deserted waste lands.

I did get asked by Eastlink to appear on Television with some of my work in support of the Spot and it’s upcoming fundraiser. Of course I said YES. I had to think of that all of two seconds lol.