Aries; today, I’m a survivalist

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 42)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource: horoscope.com || August 3, 2015

“There are several opportunities open now that weren’t there before. The key is to take advantage of them. Find freedom in the strange and new. Be a pioneer today and venture into the unknown. This is a day to expand and reach new heights by having more confidence in your abilities. Things will get stale and boring if you keep doing the same things over and over.”

Today, there are no opportunities. Well maybe one if you count the opportunity to rest, but not by choice. Ok, maybe by choice. If there are future opportunities I don’t want to think about them today. Today I am taking advantage of being alone and shutting my eyes. Listening to the peaceful silence.

My life is full of strange and new, not just today. Past, present, future. I’m not sure I find that much freedom in it. Freedom to me would be the ability to come and go, explain myself to no one. Justify my decisions to no one. Be a “true pioneer” and venture into the unknown with regard for no one.

But eventually that existence gets lonely and it’s a vicious cycle. I believe there is a future coming where I expand and reach new heights. Confidence is not the issue. I’ve been confidently trending upward and forward for 3 Yrs steady from near death experience to working man. I kinda feel like in this moment standing still, I’m not being the most responsible man. My spending is out of control lol.

Today I’m conserving energy. Today I’m hiding inside from the sun, the heat because I don’t have the resources to properly feed myself. I’m 1 Day from payday and this time, I really need to get it right.

I have an itch, it wants out. I have a bug… I want to be an adventurer, into the unknown. I have dreams of setting and achieving goals to travel the world under my own human power. Dreams to own a home that I don’t spend the majority of my natural life paying off. I want to sell power back to the grid. I want to be a minimalist, satisfy my inner man and fulfill my inner peace.

The question I ask myself is… Am I posturing to pounce or circling to slump down into a heap of sleeping hair skin and bones, acquiescing to societies idea of natural progress by consuming, driving, building, marrying and divorcing. Standing still in a place where I’ll never be able to catch up with the fast lane?

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Photo Op; in the basement there is…

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Title; in the basement. Photography by Ross W © 2015

There is a thing in the basement, it goes bump sometimes. Sometimes; the pipes shudder and the taps leak. Whirring and humming noises stumble out of the shadows as the pumps and heaters secretly labor for the upstairs world…

I grew up in a house that in the beginning our basement had a dirt floor, it was dark even with the lights on. The only access was a spooky staircase with no banister. Spiders and beetles, earwigs of unimaginable size (to a child) lurked ready to pounce. The above photo was taken in the basement of my current building. This is a small room where the piping comes in from the pump and the hot water heater. I found the long shadows of the copper pipe familiar and the abandoned bottle lightly covered in sand; seems like it was teleported here, never touched by human hands. This photo brought back a rush of memories, home. Mom & Dad. Life.

Aries; Just had to fuck it up…

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 41)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource: horoscope.com | July 27, 2015

Your mind may seem rather cloudy today, Aries, but don’t let this hinder you. In fact, you can use this dreamy feeling to your advantage. Try to bring more magic into your life. The more you accept your bizarre feelings and ideas, the more things will fall into place. Don’t think that everything in life has to be completely rational.

Aries, you were on a roll. Even on the days I haven’t been loyally reporting. I really felt like we had a thing going on, but this evening. You fucked it up! I was NOT cloudy today at all, in fact I was clear minded. I was on time, on my game and the only time dreamy feelings that overtook me was while I eyed my next bike purchase lol.

Magic is not really my thing; bizarre feelings… Ideas, oh man lets not go that deep down the rabbit hole. Things are falling into place but its cause of hard work, strategic thinking and experience. Everything in my life conforms to a certain rationality. No rational, no room for it up in here. I don’t do drama.

Aries; running on fumes

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 38)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource: horoscope.com | July 17, 2015

Trying to get too much work done in the course of the day could prove self-defeating, Aries. Your energy isn’t what it usually is, and you’re probably operating on adrenaline. Consider the situation carefully and list your tasks in order of urgency. The world won’t come to an end if you don’t get them all done by the end of the day. In the evening, watch a movie and order a pizza.”

Last shift I worked from 10 Am to 10 Pm (Wednesday), my shift ended at 6 Pm but I kept on chugging along. It really was a self-defeating endeavour. I just worked myself out of things to do the following day.

My energy has been very low, but I am fucking up my entire program. I’ve been missing my meds, screwing up the schedule. I’m not sleeping as much. I ride the bus more often than I should ride my bike to work. Annnd I have been drinking a little more than normal. Normal is Zero drinking, but I’ve been sneaking in a beer or two a week. I’m mixing it with my evening pizza.

Aries; The Logic will set you free

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 37)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource: horoscope.com | July 16, 2015

Recent spiritual breakthroughs might have you feeling both exhilarated and downcast, Aries. Your sensitive side tells you that this is a definite step forward on your spiritual path, but the logical side might cause you to doubt its reality. Take comfort in the fact that reality is relative and that what you’re sensing is at least valid for you. Then keep moving ahead.

I don’t know if recent life breakthroughs have been spiritual or not. But I can sure as hell tell you that my skepticism is in full swing. In the past 24 Hrs feelings of exhilaration paired with the witnessing of deceit have downcast me into a pit of logic. My sensitive side says strap on the suit of armour, bury my spirit deep and embrace the serenity of sound decision making. I have no doubt that life may teach lessons intended to diversify our spiritual side. Life also teaches us lessons that exposure to extreme elements may harm both our physical bodies and the metaphysical mind. Life right now is delivering me a very real sign. Bunker down and push forward regardless of external elements. The warning signs are valid and I am standing in the eye of the storm. One more battle and I will rise victorious!

Aries; I was just saying…

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 36)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource; horoscope.com | July 7, 2015

Turn your energy inward today, Aries. Make a detailed list of what you need to get done in order of priority. It’s time to take inventory and get organized. Detail-oriented projects are favored, and you have much more patience and concentration than usual. Slow down the pace and remember to smell the roses as you pass by.

Ah, I didn’t get to making an actual list but… I just spent the last three days fending off a bug of some sort and there is nothing I hate more these days than sitting still. I’m back to work tomorrow and I could not be happier. I’ve been making a list in my head of things to address, follow up on and complete.

I also have a spreadsheet that I track it all on (Thank You Google Sheets). A little life lesson I learned from a good friend in an old bike shop. Getting projects off the ground and keeping things in order, prioritized. Starts with good record keeping. Oh and how to sell bikes. And… fix them. Sorta.

My Zen has been off for the last few days but this evening I feel things are slowing down. I’m finding myself paying attention to the little parts of a big picture. Time to put this hiccup behind me and get back to business.

Aries; Back on Track

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 35)

horoscope-aries-tattoo-designSource; Metro | July 2 / 2015 | IT’S ALL IN THE STARS by Sally Brompton

You will be forced to choose between two tempting possibilities today. If it’s a choice between moving up in the world and making a positive difference. Make a difference.

I had many possibilities to choose from today. Two was not the number. And I decided to hit everything with all systems go. If I had a choice, I made a positive decision. Today I managed to get the apartment cleaned, and I mean legit clean. Not just a 10 Minute Tidy. The dishes are washed, floors swept and mopped. The washroom has been scrubbed top to bottom. And the laundry is in the machine as I type. It feels good. And lastly I am catching up a little on my photography, editing the latest batch of photos. Topping it all off I’m blogging, which as you can see has been very sporadic.

I don’t know if I made any decisions that are going to “move me up in the world” but my decisions mos def made me feel like I’ve made a difference. My home is my castle and for a bit it was feeling more like a dungeon. A place I go to take off my dirty clothes, sleep and put on clean clothes. I even bought new lamps, paper shades and much softer light than what I normally use when painting/sketching.

really helps me with my Zen 😉