I’ve been walking about the train tracks near my apartment. I collect little bits of the nuts & bolts, the broken bones of aging tracks. Right now some of my findings are a bit more interesting than the average railway spike.
Here in Dartmouth I live just under an 50+ Yr old bridge that is going through a major facelift. The Big Lift is the first ever in history undertaking of completely refurbishing a bridge while it is still open (Hit the link for more information). Some of the parts jammed into this vase are original parts shed from the bridge construction.
Sometimes a guy just needs to escape. I play Guild Wars 2… Used to be a WoW Head and for those of you not familiar with the expression “WoW Head” its another online multiplayer game AKA: World of Warcraft.
I decided to ditch WoW cause well its a Pay to Play and its outdated graphics engine/bloated controls made it too much of a let down/life commitment to play. GW2 allows me to log in, hit a Player vs Player environment and be a badass without committing hundreds of hours to endless gear grinds. Grinding to keep up with the power curve. I pretty much never step into the Player vs Environment aspect of the game. Occasionally I will for my Guild, which by the way is very active.
My WoW Guild was dead, my server was dead. All that was left were elitists gamers that required min/max stats & minimum achievement quotas. I don’t have that kinda time or the energy to commit to a virtual hobby. Plus its FREE to PLAY! And I like Free Stuff.
Shout out to anyone out there that plays GW2:
I am Bringavanger, Champion Legionnaire of Jade Quarry.
I look forward to seeing you on the battle field…
“This should be a fun day for you, Aries. You should enjoy a good mood and social times with others. Don’t do anything that requires discipline or realistic thinking. This is a better day to simply have fun and relax. If you must work, do your best to keep your mood up. You can have fun even if you’re being productive with menial tasks and duties.”
Ah, long story short… I’m single again. Annnd today was in fact a GREAT day! It was fun. I woke up, in a pretty good mood. I had a beer for breakfast, along with some fresh fruit. I don’t really do social things. Occasionally but not often.
I definitely did not do anything today that requires any discipline. I mostly played video games all morning while I meandered the day away doing laundry. I downloaded a new Audio Book, I am soo hooked on Audible by Amazon.
Around 5’ish I found myself thinking that getting out of the house would be a good idea. I hopped a bus to work and retrieved my road bike. There was some work on the counter that I could have easily done. I kinda felt like I should handle it but ya know what, I work tomorrow. I’ll handle it then. Today is my day off.
I hit the road home, made my best time ever 1 Hr on the dot with an average speed of 26.6 Kph… Nearly exploded my legs on that last hill before the big dive but I did it. A little screaming to myself, out loud lol. A little self motivation 🙂
“There are several opportunities open now that weren’t there before. The key is to take advantage of them. Find freedom in the strange and new. Be a pioneer today and venture into the unknown. This is a day to expand and reach new heights by having more confidence in your abilities. Things will get stale and boring if you keep doing the same things over and over.”
Today, there are no opportunities. Well maybe one if you count the opportunity to rest, but not by choice. Ok, maybe by choice. If there are future opportunities I don’t want to think about them today. Today I am taking advantage of being alone and shutting my eyes. Listening to the peaceful silence.
My life is full of strange and new, not just today. Past, present, future. I’m not sure I find that much freedom in it. Freedom to me would be the ability to come and go, explain myself to no one. Justify my decisions to no one. Be a “true pioneer” and venture into the unknown with regard for no one.
But eventually that existence gets lonely and it’s a vicious cycle. I believe there is a future coming where I expand and reach new heights. Confidence is not the issue. I’ve been confidently trending upward and forward for 3 Yrs steady from near death experience to working man. I kinda feel like in this moment standing still, I’m not being the most responsible man. My spending is out of control lol.
Today I’m conserving energy. Today I’m hiding inside from the sun, the heat because I don’t have the resources to properly feed myself. I’m 1 Day from payday and this time, I really need to get it right.
I have an itch, it wants out. I have a bug… I want to be an adventurer, into the unknown. I have dreams of setting and achieving goals to travel the world under my own human power. Dreams to own a home that I don’t spend the majority of my natural life paying off. I want to sell power back to the grid. I want to be a minimalist, satisfy my inner man and fulfill my inner peace.
The question I ask myself is… Am I posturing to pounce or circling to slump down into a heap of sleeping hair skin and bones, acquiescing to societies idea of natural progress by consuming, driving, building, marrying and divorcing. Standing still in a place where I’ll never be able to catch up with the fast lane?
There is a thing in the basement, it goes bump sometimes. Sometimes; the pipes shudder and the taps leak. Whirring and humming noises stumble out of the shadows as the pumps and heaters secretly labor for the upstairs world…
I grew up in a house that in the beginning our basement had a dirt floor, it was dark even with the lights on. The only access was a spooky staircase with no banister. Spiders and beetles, earwigs of unimaginable size (to a child) lurked ready to pounce. The above photo was taken in the basement of my current building. This is a small room where the piping comes in from the pump and the hot water heater. I found the long shadows of the copper pipe familiar and the abandoned bottle lightly covered in sand; seems like it was teleported here, never touched by human hands. This photo brought back a rush of memories, home. Mom & Dad. Life.
“Your mind may seem rather cloudy today, Aries, but don’t let this hinder you. In fact, you can use this dreamy feeling to your advantage. Try to bring more magic into your life. The more you accept your bizarre feelings and ideas, the more things will fall into place. Don’t think that everything in life has to be completely rational.”
Aries, you were on a roll. Even on the days I haven’t been loyally reporting. I really felt like we had a thing going on, but this evening. You fucked it up! I was NOT cloudy today at all, in fact I was clear minded. I was on time, on my game and the only time dreamy feelings that overtook me was while I eyed my next bike purchase lol.
Magic is not really my thing; bizarre feelings… Ideas, oh man lets not go that deep down the rabbit hole. Things are falling into place but its cause of hard work, strategic thinking and experience. Everything in my life conforms to a certain rationality. No rational, no room for it up in here. I don’t do drama.