Clinically Acclaimed!

recovery Day X; depression strikes

mq1Step 1. Tell Someone;

Depression is no stranger to me. I know what it looks like, how it changes my attitude and behaviour. And I know that when it strikes to suffer in silence is a common response. Depression crushes my drive to socialize. It crushes my desire to care for my home, to care for myself. It sucks the joy out of the things I love the most. Its a bummer, like a flat tire during the worst snowstorm of your life. And you don’t have a spare.

Well… A flat in the middle of the worst snowstorm of your life and no spare tire. You call someone. I know its hard. I know its embarrassing. I know it can strip you of pride. Rob a person of their ability to feel independent. Left unchecked long enough it can start to tear your life down. It can affect your job performance. Maybe even lead to job loss. Bills pile up; And the hole gets deeper and deeper.

Last Monday I was diagnosed with moderate to severe depression by my Doctor @ Connections. He diagnosed me because I told him something was wrong. And I was given two choices; Take more medication OR Initiate the use of my most powerful and effective tools, one being Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

For those of you not familiar with CBT, its basically a self or assisted launch of a learned tool. CBT helps a person evaluate situations negatively impacting their mental & physical health. Upon evaluation identify negative behaviours and implement a simple, attainable plan of action to help improve or correct the situation.

My Doctor & Connections are amazing. A worker was notified of my situation, it is not an emergency in my case because I have a strong history of self guided recovery. I set in motion a plan that day to right my course:

  1. Ride my bike! Healthy body, healthy mind. Exercise reduces stress.
  2. Eat Right. Drop the comfort foods, eat green & healthy proteins.
  3. Take out the trash, mentally & physically.
  4. Work Smart, be productive & creative. Feel Accomplished!
  5. Rinse and Repeat, but don’t overdo it. Start Small.

Soo far, since Monday I’ve executed steps 1 through 4 and I’m getting ready for the “Rinse/Repeat” part. I see improvements already. Its small, but ya gotta start somewhere.

Who knows, maybe my medication will increase? Is that bad? Meh, I don’t think so. But I can sure as hell tell anyone reading this;

I’mma fight. I’m gonna use my learned tools & fight!

Knowledge is power.



Aries; Week in Focus

When my Life & the Stars collide (Pt. 12)


Source; Metro | April, 14 / 2015 | IT’S ALL IN THE STARS by Sally Brompton

You like excitement but you need security too and the planets in some way remind you today that matters of a business and financial nature must not be neglected. Have fun by all means but keep an eye on your cash too.

Ahh haha, well I doo like excitement. Security tho, maybe sometime in the future. Right now I feel like the only security going on here is that the “planets” don’t collide. I do work and I’m back at the bike shop, plus my other job with FRED Style. But I think its safe to say anyone in the slowly dwindling middle class always have something to this effect on their mind.

I just had a birthday on the 11th and of course a little spending was on the books, but the reality of choice in my financial position is make a decision between what I need and what I need. Want is something I very seldom engage.

On the plus side… Life is simple. And I like that.

Source;  Metro | April, 15 / 2015 | IT’S ALL IN THE STARS by Sally Brompton

It seems you can’t put a wrong foot wrong at this moment but you know from long experience not to take things like that for granted. Enjoy life but watch where you tread.

I will tell you no lie, in life I am like a fucking squirrel lol. I mostly enjoy life in a sure footed manner much like a squirrel, masterly hopping thru my environment. But yes from “long experience” more than I care for at my age (31) its not enough to just watch where you tread. You need to get ur mad squirrel on. You ever see even the most tame squirrel, chillin on the bench just eating the bits of lunch you’re sharing with him. Try to make a move on that squirrel, all you will see is fur and lightning. Hell, you might not see anything. Just there, then gone. 

Source; The Coast | April 16 – 22 / 2015, Vol. 22 / No. 46 | Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny

The California Gold Rush hit its peak between 1849 and 1855. Three hundred thousand adventurers flocked to America’s west coast in search of gold. In the early days, gold nuggets were lying around on the ground in plain sight, or relatively easy to find in gravel beds at the bottom of streams. But later prospectors had to work harder, developing methods to extract the gold from rocks that contained it. One way to detect the presence of the precious metal was through the use of nitric acid, which corroded any substance that wasn’t gold. The term “acid test” refers to that process. I bring this to your attention, Aries, because it’s a good time for you to use the metaphorical version of an acid test as you ascertain whether what you have discovered is truly golden.

Reading this it made me kinda think of my generation and the state of the job market. As prospectors, my generation has to work much harder to find that sliver of gold. The job banks are full of dead ends, pyramid schemes, and employment options that will barely pay a living wage. Not just anyone can walk up on the economy and pick a gold nugget up, work loyally for 35-40 Yrs and retire with confidence like my Dad’s generation can. You guys know I work and I really love what I do. Thankfully. Without that, maybe in the future I’ll need to conjure up some of this metaphorical acid in an effort to discover my truly golden opportunity and secure my independance from this broken social system.

Source; Metro | April, 17 – 19 / 2015 | IT’S ALL IN THE STARS by Sally Brompton

You have no intention of giving in just because someone in a position of power is on your case. Anyone who thinks you will just roll over and play dead today will learn the hard way that you can bite as well as bark.

Today specifically I didn’t bite or bark at anyone. I really don’t mind confrontation these days. It used to really stress me out, but its one of those things. Ya do it long enough and your emotions tend to become a little calloused. Skepticism sets in and a person kinda learns to scrutinize everything. Eventually you learn to dig your heels in early. Bark when provoked, bite when necessary.

I’ll be honest, 99% of the time its not persons in a position of power that get on my case. Its persons that think they are in a position of power. Patience and Experience are key in divining when you up against real power or an inflated ego.